Bittersweet. Cliché, but WTH

So, it's a Monday and I am here. On my bed. And I think this is the best Monday that I have in a pretty loooong time. It's my day off. But, tell you. My future Mondays will be a whole lot like this soon!

— Miss`Chievous (@aizanity) December 2, 2013

Anyway, I am back in my worktown and this marks my 5th day away from work. So you can just imagine how awesome I must be feeling.

However, the past weeks have been agonizing and and heartbreaking, especially for J, but life rolls that way and all we can do is to accept things. I went to Ilocos with him to express my sympathy for him and his family. I have met his family a couple of times, but I haven't met his other titos and titas who are based outside of the country.

I love being with his family. They are a happy bunch. Even though they were faced with humongous problems, they don't base their everyday mood on that. They have a time to mourn and a time to move on. I met his favorite tito and his lovely aunt. And I felt the warmth that they welcomed me with. They would always ask J if I have eaten -- if they can't see me when I am just a.) sitting in a corner where they can't see me or b.) I am hidden by J's back when we have to share a chair.

They would also send in wedding bell queries and all I could manage was giggle. Do I hear baby quotes soon? Not yet. ;) It's just that J has a lot to do before we settle and so do I. I mean, I still have my graduate studies to finish and we still need a car before the wedding rings. It would be hard planning a wedding, going here and there if you don't have your own car, aight?

Moving over with the wedding chimes, they have different death traditions that we do. Of course, they're living in the north and I grew up in the Visayas. Some would take me by surprise. Some seem vaguely familiar. Some were opposite than ours. Whatever those traditions are, I open-mindedly take in and excitingly comply to (I have to participate in some. Feeling like a part of the family lang?).

The letting go in the lake act was refreshing and I hope it was liberating for them. 

After having been blessed with oil with an elder at their home, we drove to a nearby lake. 

The path leading to this scenic bliss was country-like and calming, with all the Filipino version of white wilting dandelions waving at us.

And it is on this body of water, that the family allowed their grief to be taken by the currents through
having the melted candle waxes, the utensils used by Tito R and other paraphernalia to flow with the lake.

They have to burn some plant stalks and mix the ashes into the water. The water from this would be used to clean our hair and the family members should dip their bodies into the lake. I had my hair cleansed too. 

It is on this very lake where we did such things. We crossed the lake with L, J's pamangkin (nephew) needing just my hand to make it through. He's just 4. On the other end of the lake, there's this spring spot, marked by stones where the locals could drink. We took a sip.

And this is J and his brother, waiting for me to finish crossing the hanging bridge; I was busy taking pictures of everything. They said the lake is pretty deep on this part.

And here is a picture I thought would make a great #webstapick entry. It's a bunch of locals having their early morning routines.

With this, I have learned that the feelings I have for my boyfriend deepened and this was brought about by the fragility and oneness that I have witnessed in him and his family... And in me, as I was affected by whatever they were feeling. 

It was just some time, but I missed Tito R too and I am kind of feeling sorry for myself for not meeting the lovely woman who gave birth to J. The same emotion is also what I feel for J for not meeting my cool dad. Oh, how life is so short. And how life is so temporary and fleeting. Our final home is, indeed, in heaven. 

I was happy though that I became a part of their family for a few days. But, I am really looking forward to the day when I became a real part of their family. That is, if J wants it too! #haha #sorrynotsorryforthecheesypost

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