Overthinking kills


Set up the mood. Push the play button. :} It's Candice's Accola's Hard to Say Goodbye. I just love the Chevrolet part. 

When you finally realized you're not that perfect daughter that adults love..
When you seem not to care if everything does not go your way..
When you see people who start to care for you the way that they shouldn't..
When you talk to your friends and liberating yourself in the process..
When you drink beer and get that temporary high more than once a week..
When you sip and chew on chocolate chips from your Starbucks frap afterwards..
When people, strangers or friends, have been telling you that they missed your posts..
When someone encourages you to do something you love..
When you start to open yourself to someone for the first time..
When you finally get to hear things that you don't want to hear..
When you screw up for the first time in your life..
When someone finally thinks you're dumb and shallow..
When wrong emotions have become comforting thoughts..
When ambivalence starts to be your reason to proceed with your day..
When you finally build up the courage to let go of something that meant the world to you before..
When strong emotions have turned into faint sirens..
When you're pushed to go into a direction that seems uncomfortable..
When you have liberated your spirit and kept up with the flow..
When you don't have the slightest idea of what to do in your life..
When you have offered and got rejected..
When you are trying to keep things the way they were..
When you tried to preserve yourself instead of doing the usual thing..
And you have lost all strong feelings in the process of doing so..
When you're trying to move on while in the relationship..
When you realize that you can live without it..
When you'd rather be happy than successful..
When you want something that you shouldn't want in the first place..
When it seems that you're becoming into someone that you yourself dislikes..
When it feels so good when it's all wrong..
When giving in is easier than refraining..
When you realize how easy it is for you to give something great up..
When you know that it could be a source of major conflicts in your life..
When you don't feel any trace of guilt anymore..
When you hear things that you'd love to hear, but you're not sure whether they're really true..
When other people think it's normal for you to feel that way, or at least you make yourself believe that they want to plant that thought in your head..
When everyone else notices it..
And you just don't care..

It's when you realize that you're human after all..
That you're different from the way you used to be,
from someone that people wants you to be,
from someone so perfect and uptight..

And that this way, you're way happier,
though you're dumber and lazier..
You're actually more alive..
And you're not broken anymore..
Because you don't allow yourself to be..

And that you try new things for yourself..
And that ending something could have been the right thing to do..
Years ago..
That you didn't have to wait this long
for you to be free from useless hurt and hopes..

Sometimes, it is during you're ugliest, laziest and dumbest,
that you learn to love yourself, and give yourself
the things that you yourself deserve, even though
it means letting go of all the usual, comfortable things.

{When people (you know in real life) read this and you just don't care what thoughts would form in their heads after reading this.}

Post Script. I am okay! They're just the thoughts that currently occupies my gooey brain. Nothing to worry about. Didn't mean to be emo, whatsoever. :}

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